Wow. Didn't realize that all of us we're having one of those weekends. I feel for you Suppo; and based on me reading your posts thus far, I know you will be able to pick yourself back up. For your kids and for yourself. It seems we all start to do fairly well with how horrible our situations are, and then that darn rollercoaster kicks in and sets us back. We are all humans, and based on what I've been learning, it's to be expected for us to have setbacks. 2 steps forward, 1 back = still moving in the right direction. Hang in there and focuse on what makes you a good person as an individual. I'm doing a self inventory on strengths, so that I can use that to help myself get out of slumps, such as these.