BeingMe, Your h could have been my xh. When my xh left, he was basically homeless for about 6 weeks. He lived w/co-workers and bummed rooms from all of them or lived at the firehouse. One day, I told him that he was basically homeless and he needed to find a place so that he could establish a place for his mail to go. He phoned me up two days later to tell me about this unfurnished room he had rented for more than what our house payment was. I told him I was glad he found a place and left it at that.
I honestly don't know why they have to tell us about such stuff unless it is the fact that they look at us as the authority figures in their lives.
Bea's thoughts are pretty much my own as well. They really are very unhappy and don't know how to get out of that mode. They want everyone to think that they are living the glamous life and happy as can be, but they also know that we know them extremely well and can detect the lies.
As Bea mentioned, some do hit bottom and grow from their experiences and mature into adults and want to reconcile or possibly go on to other relationships. Some don't. My xh is still living in the fantasy world of a teenager and I serioiusly doubt that he will hit bottom until he is actually 6 feet under. It's very, very sad.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
