Now separated. Am I doing the right things? Pt 2

[Arsene]

Yeah, I would definitely put the "right now" or "for the time being" / "for now" somewhere in there. Keep her thinking.

I was quite upfront about it with my W and told her that I needed the time to work on myself and that dating at this time would interfere with that. I told her that for now, I needed to be on my own.

Of course, I got a bit of hell on this from some folks around here because they saw right through me and knew I was trying to make W feel guilty with this statement.

However, I'm actually wondering if it does require an answer. In my case it was done in person and I hadn't had much time to think about it but for you? Let it sit for a while. See if she pushes for more.

I also wonder why they ask. If they really want to leave why should they care? My wife used to encourage me to see other people (2 years ago, when I found out about the EA)or even recently, telling me that so and so would be a good match for me. She'd say it would make me feel better. I told her then, and now that no, it was to make HER feel better. Maybe that is what it is. They feel guilty and want to know that we are also messing up things.

Imagine how it must feel to carry all the guilt on your shoulders (W has told me that everyone thinks she's the "baddy"). Here you've demonized your S to justify your lack of strength and the fact that you've given up on something which was to last "until death do us part" and the person you left suddenly transformed into "prince charming". It must be very confusing for them.

The old sins they've dug up don't stick anymore so it's time to try to attach new ones to us so they can go on and happily do what they want in the knowledge that we deserve what ever we get.

Does that make sense? It might just be that they want to check the waters, see if we are still available, see if they've pushed us too far, beyond the point of no return.

They are WAS!! By definition, they don't make sense, do they?