Now separated. Am I doing the right things? Pt 2

[Denver_2010]

I am in writing mode right now. I always thank everyone for their help. I hope my consistent ‘thank you’s” don’t get diluted because I am saying them with all sincerity. It’s unique confiding in people I’ve never met before however I trust you guys and I value you input and opinions more than an IC. While IC’s have there value, I believe MWD addresses the differences in DR, upon reflection, so true!!!!

While I still question my judgment (which is a good thing). I am in good hands on this board, no doubt! You guys keep me in check. Denver, you have a “no brass tax” approach which helps my sanity. IMO, I feel there’s a high probability my W has been with OM since our separation however I am getting the feeling it doesn’t change much in regards to how I handle my sitch. Arsene even asked the other day if he should do something different if there’s OM. My W left me, that’s a fact. She lost respect for me and she also feels I do not financially support our family. My W didn’t have her needs met and neither did I.

I feel I should take a very similar approach as most others on this board regardless of OM or not. From my perspective, my W “might” want to come back however I feel I take the same approach as if there’s OM, it helps me detach.

Denver, you recently commented on my thread that finances are” things that are handled as a couple”. While I agree, I don’t want to talk about this too much because it will cause me to focus on W’s shortcomings. My W is super passive aggressive. She was raised by a father who was the 100% breadwinner. My FIL put 4 kids through college, my MIL hasn’t worked a day in her life, while some women think this is the glamorous life, I call BS in a heartbeat. It doesn’t make for a happier W. Women that are stay at home moms don’t work for an employer, they take care of the kids, which is a huge job! But SOME women think they will have utter happiness if they have “this lifestyle”, Absolute BS from what I have seen.

Ok, I should take other people out of this but this is how MY W views happiness, in a sick kind of way. Finances aren’t a two way street with my W. I truly feel she thinks the husband should take care of finances, it’s all my W knows, its in her upbringing.

Yes, I want to make the CMB, cash money brotha! I enjoy the nice lifestyle. I am not one to just settle, I am not an underachiever, I am not someone that wants to “just get buy”. I hope you can understand that I am not a slacker!.

Here’s the bottom line, women want to feel safe. They want to know things are taken care of. They don’t want their life to be nonstop financial stress, they want to feel comfortable.

It’s more than “just the money”. It’s what’s behind the money, the safety and security they feel. I am finally coming to understand this realization. (Acc, you helped me with that!) I am also the 5 LL will ingrain that in my brain even more.

Just a little venting, I still love my W like no other! Even though I am complaining, I want my family back. This is all a somewhat mute point; I guess I can address it more if I ever make it to the piecing forum. Thoughts?

Women do want security... both, emotional and financial. Definitely true.