As much as I love my X. I cant do it anymore. Atleast right now. Sent this text to him about 10 miniutes ago...
Ok. There was alot of jealousy displayed there, and for that I am sorry. I have only wanted for you to be happy. Actually I wanted to make you happy. Apparently I didnt do that the past 12 years of our lives we had together. I understand I made alot of mistakes and I took so much we had for granted for a long time. She must make you happy. She has to because I know how much our relationship and our marriage meant to you. Even up to 8 weeks ago. Im done. For my sanity. I have to be. This is not the person I am. I am better than this. I am the better option. Good luck to your future.
I love this man with everything that I have. I may not be done in my heart. But I cannot continue with how my emotions rage from on extreme to another. If this is the person whom he believes is going to make him happy? Ok. What can I do? Ive made my bed. I need to lie in it and take it for what it is. He is finished with me.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: What happened? I can understand your sentiment though, just found out tonight that mine has told some people some lies about me. Obviously thats to be expected as far as our marriage goes, but this one was a little harder to swallow b/c it was to people we go to church with about why she wasn't coming to church anymore and it was just an absolute lie.
I said all along I wasn't going to snoop....but that may change soon b/c it looks like I may be headed to having papers filed on me in a little over 2 weeks. I told my mother tonight that even if she serves me i'm going to love her through it, but im going to protect myself as well.
Thats almost the exact line my WAW used on me the last night we were together....she flew off the handle about me questioning her receiving a text picture from a guy and screamed at me that God wasn't listening to her at all b/c she prayed simply for one night without having to do this.....I didnt even know what she meant by 'this' because I wasn't even angry I was simply asking her to sign in to her email address that I didnt know she had and let me see what was in there.
And one other thing.....My son learned a thing at his church camp a few years back where one person would say 'God is good...and everyone else would answer back 'all the time'. I sat with my preacher almost 3 months ago in tears because I honestly couldnt make those words come out of my mouth and it scared me beyond belief, I was told then and still beleive that we're allowed and its ok to question God.....but as much as I hate whats going on in my life right now I can tell you unequivocally that God is good all the time.
Im so sorry Carnac. I hate fhat anyone is goinv through any of what we all are. Absolutely hate it.
What happened....... After boating, I went to pick our son up at the house. The wedding pix were down and I got upset. I dont even know why I did. I guess because I took them down? We left and I was hurt. Upset. Angry. Cause I really thought we were connecting again. So I sent him a not so nice text:
Pretty sure you should lead your happy life. I am trying SO hard and feel I cant try any harder. I cant make you see anymore that I am a different person than I used to be. Happy life. I will laugh when this fails. Phone call. Instantaneously mad. "I only want the best for you, why cant you do fhe same?" I told him I am jealous right now. Ask for another chance. "I gave you a million chances, and I am done".
So. I have to be as well.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
And one other thing.....My son learned a thing at his church camp a few years back where one person would say 'God is good...and everyone else would answer back 'all the time'. I sat with my preacher almost 3 months ago in tears because I honestly couldnt make those words come out of my mouth and it scared me beyond belief, I was told then and still beleive that we're allowed and its ok to question God.....but as much as I hate whats going on in my life right now I can tell you unequivocally that God is good all the time.
As much as I believe he is good, right now Im questioning. Questioning why he would let this happen? I know its selfish. But i AM being honest because right now I dont understand. I AM a good person. I just had some problems that can be easily fixed. Why!!!!!!
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Im sorry to hear that. Isn't it amazing the things that seem small and can trigger in us such strong emotions. I was exactly the same way on Saturday when I noticed my wife didnt have her wedding ring on. I almost left the field before our game because I simply couldnt deal with it. It was spinning me into that bad place where all i wanted to do was be alone and cry. Luckily my best friend was there and talked me down a bit.
Isn't it quite ironic that it seems everyone's sitch seems to be spinning sideways right now? Maybe its the full moon. LOL
MrsD as much as i wish right now I could give you a better answer, the only one I have for you right now is that God gives each person free will and that includes your ex and my WAW. I pray each and every day that He puts good people in her path that encourage her to work on her marriage, and I believe that he will do that, but God simply won't change their mind.......its not his nature to make those decisions for people. He allows us free will...but if thats true, then we also have to know that he allows them free will, even if we're praying for a different outcome its not for Him to change their mind.
