Freedomland Ahead

[BeingMe]

I agree, Forward. In retrospect, I did use the time mainly for becoming detached, thinking about what to do, started studying, and healing in more ways than emotionally (it was during this time that I was getting past the cancer thang). But, every time he came home, I started hoping again, only to have it dashed. Little by little, the hope faded after each of his visits home, until now I have no hope of reconciliation. I feel ready, now. So, I don't see the time as wasted per se, just that if I knew that he was seeing other people, then I would've moved on faster, and the hope would've diminished quicker.

Nothing to do about it now. Just learn from it, and step into the future with that knowledge. I don't feel resentful, or cross ... just, like ... hey, you could've told me, dude!

Sooooo .... I had that coffee date. It was nice. He made me laugh ... he has this British dry humour. He may be a tad older than I like, but I won't write him off because of that. We'll see what happens. I'm not going to jump into a R with anyone until I'm divorced and had some time to let that sink in. Meantime, I'm all for hanging out, having fun, laughing, etc.