We went out to lunch as a family for Hs bday. During lunch he surprises me, "you look like you're not having a good time. if you didn't want to come you didn't have to." I was shocked. It made me change my behavior instantly.
We spoke after and I told him, "I pull back because I really don't know how close I can get to you. I'm sorry if you thought I didn't care but I did want to be there."
He said he noticed it was more him but couldn't help but relate my lack of interest with his dad's attitude when they go out to eat.
H also surprised me by saying, "I don't know how long we'll be in this sitch but when you guys were gone I had the urge to want to go visit you guys at home and I knew I couldn't. It was hard to think about that."
I said, "I don't know if it's ok for me to say this but we missed you." He said, "I feel the same way when S4 and I are together."
I didn't say anything and he quickly changed the subject.
Before lunch I found an extra key in his car that looked like a girls key. (pink disney keychain and music band keychain, very unlike H). I assume he now has a key to her place. He said it was a key to his place. It hurt. a lot.
God help me to let go and make the right choices.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
