For RIGHT NOW, based on this new info (the trip with OM), I have to agree with Chatter. The time for convo is over. Communicate through actions, not words.
Sit on this for a while AT. Let it soak in and see how you feel a week from now, or two weeks from now.
Denver
Denver,
You think I should do the same? Communicate through actions, not words etc.? Especially since she made apromise to me to never do this to me again & the fact that when I asked her at the beginning of the sep, she told me flat out that there was no OM.
You guys are right, they are living on a high & truly don't know what they are doing! Kids asked me if she enjoys hurting them so much? How do you answer that?
Suppo - I tried to answer your question on your thread.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
You think out a few ideas and plan... You plan out how to get that 500 bucks plus couch fund ( still think that is crazy kind of like a double dip tax )
You enact upon them. As you have no other reason to contact her. Leave it be and work on yourself.
If you need to communicate ( which I doubt ) you do it through email.
You have your place to go through and inventory , make it into a bachelor's pad etc....
You have to move everything that she is taking from the place into one location so nothing else is removed. Personally if there was a garage I would move the stuff there 2 days before so no one needs to be in the place.
And you work out the next stages of your plan. Make your goals Alkaline specific. Work , exercise , personal growth.
And continue with the Plan D goals as well. You need to place legal protection around you.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Thanks Chatter... I'll definitely be working on myself, staying dark, continuing my exercise routine and work stuff, and GALing as much as possible.
We talked a couple weeks back, and she's only planning on taking her clothes and a few other things when she comes back... She's not renting a moving truck, only using an SUV and will only get one trip to take what she "needs". We have no garage, but I'm honestly not worried about what she'd take.
Still not at the "Plan D" stage, no matter how crazy it may seen, but I hear what you're saying about legal protection...
D takes two years in our state. But protection can happen as soon as you two agree. So work towards that. As you know most of these do not work out. So you would be foolish to not get protection in place for both of you.
This is not only for you but it is for her as well.
And trust me on the being there and making sure nothing extra is taken.
Trust me on this. Make this as easy as possible. For the both of you. It is being very kind to get it all ready.
Think about this.
You driving for a few hours. To get your stuff under the eyes of someone who you have disappointed. Then drive a few hours to unload.
You always say you willing to be nice.
So be nice here. And gather it up. And make sure this is the smooth part.
P.S. This is your last good attempt to show that your a gentleman under some stress without expecting anything in return.
So use it wisely. It is a one shot. And this is a good one for both paths down the road.
D or R
Its why I have dropped the round over and over in the same spot.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Thanks Chatter... I'll certainly take this into serious consideration.
Very busy make-up day at work today, so won't have too much time to journal or write more, but I'd love to hear from you guys on the current state of the sitch.
Haven't heard from W since her last text (documented earlier in this thread)... No response to the email I sent, which is totally fine, if a little out of character.
Then again, just about everything with W seems out-of-character at the moment.
Came up with a theory over the weekend about how that kinda nasty exchange just happened to occur a day before she was planning on going out of town with OM and the family... Sounds like she needed a little internal-justification for the actions she knew were on the horizon... Just a theory...
Had an extremely eventful weekend, filled with ups and downs, catching up with old friends, drafting Fantasy Football leagues, meeting tons of new people, and lots of quality time with the family... which is ALWAYS very dramatic, and it didn't disappoint this year either! Might write about that in the future...
I feel a little silly for having the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach... That part of me that sees all that she's doing, yet still wants to continue to move on AND pave a path for her to return one day...
The good part is, I can honestly say that i've transitioned from NEEDing her back in my life to WANTing her back in my life one day... That's a major step for me, and one that I don't take lightly.
Yes Chatter, a TON of things need to be done by her... I'll make the path home as smooth as possible, but I certainly won't be driving her down it... I'll make sure it's smooth, well lit, and has plenty of signs, but she needs to CHOOSE to follow the path without any pushing from me... Besides, if I have to push her down the path, I'll never be able to be confident that she wanted to go down it in the first place.
Yes and Yes! I like Chatter's post. Hadn't heard that before. But so true.
Your W has to want to return before there can be a successful R.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
