You said your wife was in same position as my H awhile back too...do you mind me asking what got in the way??
The short answer is OM. It's a little more involved than that, but my W made a decision to "move on." She blamed me for the distance between us, and then put as much distance between us as she possibly could. She says they're just friends, and I suppose I'm still hoping that this is true. However, at a minimum, he has replaced me as her best friend.
I've always believed that love starts with friendship. I think my W can love me again if she lets me be her friend. I don't think she believes that is possible.
And as to your sit:
Originally Posted By: MandyRwaw
It's my gut feeling as well, just need to be patient and let him come to the same conclusion.
Yes. Be patient. It appears that your H is not as commited to OW as my W is to OM. And they haven't had enough time to build a friendship.
You have a common history with him. I think all you can do is to be yourself (the best Mandy you can be), and let him remember why he was your friend, and why he fell in love with you in the first place.
I've been M for 29 years. We have four kids, and our youngest is autistic. There's a lot of good times, and a lot of tough times. My W remembers the latter to the exclusion of the former. And she's enjoying herself with OM in the same ways she and I used to share. I can't compete with that. I still have responsibilities that I cannot shirk.
But I get the impression that you and your H are pretty much on an even keel in that respect.
I think you just have to be patient, and let him rediscover the good stuff. It's not all that far off in his memory.
