I've done everything wrong and need help!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

The books are on there way.

Ordered waiting for delivery.

There are no children involved with our marraige (if reconciliation doesn't happen thank god there's no kids) but a real desire to at least be friends is there. Lately my wife has set boundarys with me. I don't think there natural Boundary's but I am certainly on the outside of her circle now. She has commented "there are things in my life now that I am not going to or am comfortable talking with you about". Not exactly what I enjoy hearing being pushed to the side after 7 years of no major fights or fall outs of any kind. Always interested in what the other was doing to an almost complete block now to me sharing things that she's doing. I don't think it's as straight forward as she's making out. Once again I think it's a planned tactic to keepin me at a distance so she can get over me and start her clean slate.

Thank you again 25yearsmlc for your comments. I kinda think you view me as the bad one and it's all my fault.

Kevin, here's the deal. YOU are the one posting here. Not her. So it does neither of us any good to tell you that your wife is nuts and evil, b/c that means you are powerless to change what is happening.

I don't believe that. There ARE things you can do to improve the situation.

When my h went into his MLC and HAD to live north of the Arctic Circle, AGAIN, I released him. Our mc's were telling us that my h was "being selfish" and "acting single".

So they felt I was "right"...that's nice. But it's useless! What do I DO with that information?

I needed to put the focus on ME and getting better. Not about my h anymore. Just ME and MY WORK b/c I had flaws too.

I mishandled a lot of things based on the concept that I was "right" and that pretending not to be mad would enable my h to continue doing what I felt was wrong. But see, MY approach failed. And I kept doing it!

I had to change ME and my approach. Took me a long time to get that.

Talking about who is right in your sitch does NOT HELP YOU. She's not here reading or posting. Only you are. And only you can change you.

You are all you control.



I admit making mistakes but I endured alot but I stuck in there and wasn't going to throw the towel in on our marriage. I'll work till I can't do anymore to save my marriage. Do things that are going to be out my comfort zone. Don't worry about my commitment to do changing to myself.

Kevin.