New to site...Ready for Advice...Been Reading!

[Arsene]

On another note: If the kids weren't with me, then I would have definitely been shopping with my pants off. Of course that would have caused more problems, cause he would have been intimidated with what he saw...loL

If you are anything like the man you are on this site, mate, I'm sure he was intimidated with what he saw, pants or no pants. I'm sure that your wife is probably doing a lot of thinking as well now. It's one thing to do it in hiding but once it's in the open, it loses some excitement, especially after seeing her kids' disapproving faces.

Keep the faith man.

[Denver_2010]

Sup - I feel like I didn't give you enough kudos earlier. I was a little busy when I first saw your post, so was short.

You handled this extremely well. I was NOT nearly as nice to the OM in my sitch when he and I had our little rendezvous. While the way that I handled now gives me a good chuckle, I your way was probably a bit more appropriate.

You were the better man today Sup. Hopefully your W had her eyes open to see it.

Denver

[LITB]

You handled this extremely well. I was NOT nearly as nice to the OM in my sitch when he and I had our little rendezvous. While the way that I handled now gives me a good chuckle, I your way was probably a bit more appropriate.

I get a chuckle out of the way you handled your little rendezvous. That was the sh!t. lol

I don't think that I could have handled it the way Suppo did. I would have wanted to spit fire.

[suppo]

If you are anything like the man you are on this site, mate, I'm sure he was intimidated with what he saw, pants or no pants. I'm sure that your wife is probably doing a lot of thinking as well now. It's one thing to do it in hiding but once it's in the open, it loses some excitement, especially after seeing her kids' disapproving faces.

Keep the faith man.

I feel good about the way I handled it. No drama, shook the guys hand, sincerely told him that he has a great woman & to not hurt her...So if she told him I was a prick & A$$hole, then he definitely didn't see what she most likely made me out to be.

Kids are still in shock, angry, hurt, etc...Not worried about myself, as I knew this was coming one day anyway...Have to remain positive & strong for my babies because they are truly blessings that shouldn't have to go through this kind of pain.

God has a plan, and if I stay steadfast, then he will eventually reveal it to me. I have actually already forgiven her in my heart & mind...I have basically chalked it up thus far to really bad decisions. Hopefully she will see sooner rather than later that I am the better choice...But if it ends up being later, then I am in it for the long haul...Plus I have no desire to go out and find somebody else anyway...LoL

Not sure if she is thinking about it or not, I would like to think she is...But like Denver & Starsky says: They are in a FOG & are enjoying that FOG, no matter who gets run over by the ship coming in during the process.

I will keep the Faith & truly am thankful for folks such as all of you on here that are supportive & still truly believe in the sanctity of M.

God Speed Freshman!

[suppo]

Sup - I feel like I didn't give you enough kudos earlier. I was a little busy when I first saw your post, so was short.

You handled this extremely well. I was NOT nearly as nice to the OM in my sitch when he and I had our little rendezvous. While the way that I handled now gives me a good chuckle, I your way was probably a bit more appropriate.

You were the better man today Sup. Hopefully your W had her eyes open to see it.

Denver

No worries about giving me Kudos earlier! I know what you meant & appreciate the support...The fight goes on & the battle has gotten thick, But I will prevail & persevere, and will have my W back when this is all said and done.

FYI...Not to sound Cocky, but I am much better looking also!!

[roughenough]

Suppo, I would have been shaking, anxious, etc……How surreal…I think some others in your sitch would have avoid the confrontation however I think your approach was the way to go. As others on here have told you, I think you did an amazing job.

Please don’t doubt what you did or what you said for a second!!!!! The high road is the way to go, and your road is in the Himalayans. I cant even imagine how tough that must have been. The eloquent way you handled the scenario is a true testament to your remarkable character. God bless.

[suppo]

Suppo, I would have been shaking, anxious, etc……How surreal…I think some others in your sitch would have avoid the confrontation however I think your approach was the way to go. As others on here have told you, I think you did an amazing job.

Please don’t doubt what you did or what you said for a second!!!!! The high road is the way to go, and your road is in the Himalayans. I cant even imagine how tough that must have been. The eloquent way you handled the scenario is a true testament to your remarkable character. God bless.

Thank you so much Rough! I would be lying to you if I told you my heart wasn't racing 100MPH. It was like the Lord came down & told me exactly what to say, end it & walk away.

Hard part now is D-12 says she can't get his face out of her head & that she can't stop thinking about things...I feel more for my kids than I do myself! D-12 also told me that she has seen this OM at some of my S-7 baseball games a couple months ago. I am not sure if it is true, but what I true testament to the kind of guy he really is if it is true!

That is how I know I am the better Man and that God has truly put me back on the right path.

God Speed Freshman!

[Denver_2010]

Suppo - You asked me on AT's thread whether I would give you the same advice that I was giving him.

In my second or third post to you on your thread, I wrote:

"Your goal right now is to communicate to your W, through actions not words, that you are LISTENING to her, that you understand her, and that you are capable of becoming that man that she originally fell in love with.

But you have to carefully balance this with what Starsky has told you... not being too available. I said in my last post that I suggest that you go LRT immediately. That means that you do not initiate contact with her, that you keep contact initiated by her short, you end conversations first... but you do not appear angry, depressed, or sad. Do that on your own time. Again, do not initiate R talk under any circumstances.

GAL (get a life). It serves two purposes IMO. 1) It will help you get through this and to maintain a positive mental attitude. 2) hopefully it will eventually cause your W to wonder what it is that you are doing... what it is that is making you happy in lieu of her presence in your life."

I think that my advice to you WAS practically the same thing that I told AT.

So yes. I think so.

But all of you have to remember that you have to do this the RIGHT way. Balance being the better option with giving her something to miss... something to fear losing.

I hope that makes sense Suppo.

[Carnac]

Suppo:
So sorry that your kids had to see that but I couldnt be more impressed with how you handled it. I'd like to think i'd be calm in such a situation, but quite honestly it would probably be all I could do not to throw a punch right in the middle of the store.

Its interesting your note about your kids asking you how you can be so calm....I dont think it would be possible to have set a better example for your kids about how to handle yourself. They may question it now, but you have to know that long after they are past the trauma of such an event they will remember how you handled it and use that many times in their life.

Wish I had something to tell you right now, i've been there years ago, i've had it confirmed with my own eyes and it hurts and I agree with you that I won't snoop right now b/c im not truly ready for the answer. Unfortunately you had the answer thrust upon you, but if there is a bright side....she has to have some pause right now wondering what she has just done, and she's gonna have to deal with any fallout from the kids.

Now at least you have the information....what will you do with it? You said you forgive, you said you will love her, and im certainly not trying to talk you out of that, but is that really how you feel? I hope it is.

[Mrs D]

Hey Sup.. just caught up on your thread, and I am so sorry. I cant imagine what you OR the kids were going through as you saw them together. You did a fine job of keeping together as I know Im not sure I could. My thoughts are with fhe kids as my son is sorta dealing with the same issue. I think he has an idea dad has a gf, but hasnt really stated it. There are ofher issues as well, as you know.

Stay strong for the kids. And good job again staying calm.... wow.