DB Bootcamp - dawnmarie and zig et al

[albamarie]

Ok, I'm back. that last paragraph to something out of me that i needed to walk away from.

H is curled up in a ball...it's hard not to feel the contagiousness of that, but I'm doing ok.

"smacks to me of co-d stuff on both your parts. feels to me as if your h is using that co-d in a huge way to keep you pulled in and we have to hep you disentangle."

I never thought of H as co-d...do you really think so. I need to look into this some more...maybe get on that book.

I have made an appointment to get a referral for a therapist, big step for me...but really necessary as I do feel the sadness covered over me like a wool blanket.

Now that I think about it my H does judge himself based on what I do or don't do. Example: if I work, bring in money...he's a looser for not doing it all. If I do the dishes...he's lazy cause he should have done it...why am I doing it. OMG! I never saw this...I just thought he was overly generous.

I need to work on myself so much...i really can't do it alone though....I will get on that counseling asap.

I want to start on goals, but I seem to be all over the place. Each day I have to make the effort for that day. Is that, ok....baby steps....be gentle with myself "timbits" says, I like that.