Freedomland Ahead

[BeingMe]

Thanks Snodderly! I appreciate your comments, knowing it comes from you, makes it all the more sweet.

I do feel that it's time now .... either for reconciliation or divorce. No more wishy washy separation where he can date, come home as if nothing is happening. Cake eating, indeed. I need to get on with my life. He has chosen divorce ... so be it.

He left on his motorbike for the city I've just come from ... 12 hours drive by car. Not sure how long by bike. He will be leaving from there to South America for 3 weeks for his job. He'll come back here to find a rental and get the rest of his stuff. When he came to say good-bye, I stayed sitting, and he fumbled around, muttering some stuff that doesn't matter. Then I stood up, and firmly said, "well, this is it, time to say good-bye." He looked at me, in the eyes, for the first time in ages, and said, "I guess so." He hugged me for a long time, and I could feel he was trembling a little. I wasn't at all. I said, "I hope you find what you're looking for." He replies, "I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know who I am." Then he left. So, I have forced him to start looking at himself, and not having me "mommy" him every time he comes home.

We have agreed that I shall go to the lawyer and have everything drawn up, and he will check it, and sign it if it's what we discussed. That is:
He will continue paying the mortgage on this house, and the utilities and everything else associated with it, until it gets sold, probably in 2 years time when my D19 and I graduate. I will continue getting $2,000 per month during this time.
Once the house is sold, I will get 80% of the profit, to put on a new property in our old city, where I will move back, and be near my grandkids.
My alimony will be 50% of his salary before taxes. Once I get a job, hopefully in my new career, we will change that.
He keeps his bonuses.
He pays for our (D19 and me) university fees.
He will continue to keep me on his insurances.
In two years time, I will start getting half airmiles.
We keep the condo in our names, and share the profit from rental fees. If he dies before me, he leaves his half to me, and visa versa, and on both of our deaths, the children get the condo to with as they please. I worry about another woman getting half of it, and my kids losing their inheritance. Of course, they will get everything that I have. I am not interested in ever getting married again, or living with someone.
Oh, also that we keep the dual bank account until the house is sold. That's where the mortgage comes out of.
None of the above can be overwritten by any will.

He's being generous now, and I hope he will continue to be so. I feel I have earned everything I get from the divorce.