Divorced #4

[Mrs D]

So I have been in a funk today. Not really down, just thinking too much even though I have been so busy today.

Church again had a great message today. Prayer threw me in breaking down and crying in church. I want to so believe that we are here for a reason, but because I dont see results in my relationship with X, I start to think everything that I am doing is not being seen because I dont see him that often. I just feel sad and frustrated and sad.

I guess when our son and I went to the lake today, I couldn't get X out of my mind. I was like X would totally be going off the rope swing into the water now, or when we were playing volleyball, it brought back all the times we played volleyball together, etc. It just seemed more hard because this is our first holiday weekend we havent been together.

Then I know hes on the bike, and Im sure shes with him. But is he thinking of me? Yes. This is what Ive been thinking all day. He doesnt know any of this. I havent spoke to him since last night. I just through this out here as what I have feeling today.

I am a stronger person. I am more confident. But right now Im having a weak moment because I absolutely miss him. Hope all had a good Sunday.