I've been in for ten years both active and guard. Females cheating rampantly is an ugly stereotype, but one with some very painful truths. (as you said 2 out of 3 in your unit is pretty terrible.)
I'm pretty sure your husband is well aware of this. It's something you both will need to work on.
From the way you talk it sounds like your husband does not catch a break at home. You being a pessimist, a strong military woman, constantly hounding him about finances, and very opinionated makes it sound like the poor guy never gets a break.
Ask yourself this do you act around him to make him feel like a man?
Now all I know from you and your marriage is what you have posted. So please forgive me if I have it all wrong.
I do believe that a man needs a lot of female attention AND admiration. If he feels his wife ignores him or worse is hyper critical then it's no surprise that he feels compelled to spend time with other women. On top of that when you spend time with the guys he knows you'll be treating them well. (otherwise why would you hang out with them). At some level he may feel they are getting the positive attention he wishes to get from you.
Remember this is not about physically cheating. It's about positive attention.
Your husband made some pretty immature financial mistakes, it sounds like through hard work you BOTH got through them. Will you forever treat him like a child for it?
There is a book that compliments DB really well called the five love languages. It may help, it sounds to me like you guys may have stopped showing genuine love to each other and were more preoccupied with defending yourself or attacking the other.
Now the usual caveat applies and I may be totally wrong, just some things to think about.
Ordering the five love languages now, I have read elsewhere it is a great book!
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
