i hear same junk about what i'm doing. my h calls and chit chats & asks allll about my life- yet he does not share anything about his. i'm supposed to just gush out all the details & entertain him with "my story" and he gets to be a unsharing lump. what is that??? if it were even a little important to him- he'd be here with me. not there in "other" life. i hate this two separate lives thing. when he retired from office- he became separate "office man" at home- been wierd ever since. retirement [censored]...
i always have shared it all - i thought he cared tho. now- why jump in to "share" with someone that doesn't care if he's risking it all for ow? i'm askin ya.
are we supposed to try and chat or just withdraw? i get the rules mixed up- when he says to call his cell if i "need him" (he's "out of town" ) what the heck can he do for me if i need him from 1000 miles away? i'm asking you- is he crazy. if he cared - he'd be here w/ me- why even say it? if i got hit by a car walking at nite and have a few last words -_ he's sure not going to be able to get here and listen. he's made his choice about "being there" if i need him- he is not.
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He said we have no obligation to keep each other informed of our wear-abouts. And then in the next breath he complained that I hadn't told him where I was two times in the past week. That hurt me to the core, he has made it plain he doesn't want to talk to me. He sits and doesn't listen when I do talk.
oh - my - God ! soo ditto for me...
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I am spinning again because I keep taking the focus off me.
how do you achieve it? i've been too other-oriented forever- hard to hone in on "just me" and keep interested - i feel allover the place.
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I find it difficult to just let go, but let go I must. I am a page he has turned I'm no longer his concern. And visa-versa. The part where he wants me to keep cooking and shopping for him is confusing. But not if I realize he is just a cake-eater. And as I have been told by OW, my sister, my best friend and many people on this site: People treat you the way you let them
the cake eating thing- how do you know or how did you switch to feeling /thinking this rather than mlc? i'm curious if i'm deluding myself - i hear the same thing. i wonder where one stops and other begins -
i alwasy feel surprised and "blammed" when someone treats me really badly- and just don't have some immediate response or don't think in advance to be watching for it. what the heck is up with "not allowing" people to treat you badly. how do we control others? all i think i have is power to take myself away from them - i can't spank anyone... you have a way? idea?
