You are not an idiot. You were doing what you do best...being a good wife. You didn't know what was going on and you have left him w/some very good memories of what he had and now has given up.

I do think that your h is very comfortable w/the way that things have been and you've not rocked the boat and made his life difficult. I do think that once you begin totally moving on w/your life and divorce him, you may very well see a different side of him. Just my two cents.

I do hope that you have something special planned for this weekend to take your mind off of the mlc monster.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.