Rubysgem, your sitch is somewhat similar to mine, except that my H actually ended the R with the OW. But he did move out once and moved back in too soon. I didn't know it, but he continued emailing and chatting with the OW while I was trying to heal from finding out about his affair. I think the key is "Too soon." You've got to let the R with the OW end before trying to heal your marriage. This affair will end--soon. It's true that they don't last long. So be patient and do the DB techniques: GAL, don't initiate contact, and do 180's so he sees what he's missing. The DB book talks about "The Ultimatum." It's quite scary, but might be the solution. Read about it. Good luck. I know how hard this is.
