ROTF LMAO! Pure unadulterated laugh my A$$ off funny! I needed this today. That is just hilarious Arsene. I like the PMA.
Your probably right on answer to my question #1 as well. I try my damndest not to mind read anymore, but you know how it is sitting in an airport for 5 hours with nothing else to do, other than people watch...LoL
I just received full confirmation of what I thought, but have been denying to myself for the last 6 months. Can't hide or deny it any longer...Neither can kids.
Went to Wal-Mart to grab some things we needed for the house & spotted W shopping with her BF.
She looked over at me & the kids (so did he) as they walked by quickly. I feel I handled myself well:
I walked after them calmly & stated W's name, don't you want to say hello to your children while you saw them? She said, Dumbfounded-I guess so! Her BF continued to keep walking pushing the cart, as you could see he was truly trying to avoid the drama or confrontation.
Anyway, after the kids said hey real quick, i walked up to her BF, who she denied as her BF right off the bat & stated that he was just a friend. I stated hello, my name is J******, I am W's name Husband, how are you? He said I am fine! I said I hope that you truly take care of my W & make her happy & don't hurt her, because she is truly an amazing & wonderful woman. Then I said, let me know if ya'll need anything from me or the kids.
Ugh... I'm sorry suppo. That is hard. I think that you handled yourself just fine.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Tough one mate. You did well. I'm still not sure what I would/will do should that day come. Take some time for yourself mate. Maybe go NC for a few days and figure out how this changes your sitch. If you decide it doesn't, have a look at your game plan, do a few tweaks and get yourself back in the race.
We're here for you mate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Thank you so much for your thoughts & posts! I think kids & I handled it really well all things considered. Never wanted to involve them more through the pain than they already were. Welcome home from 2 weeks on the road is all I can say!
I had my speculation & was always ready (at least I thought) for this, but I never wanted to admit it! I guess I really don't know here as well as i do, but in the end I had a lot to do with her looking elsewhere for what she was missing in our M.
Guy was scared to death when I approached him, but who knows the circumstances. Not sure if she ever knew she was still married or if she told him full life details (i.e. kids, still married, etc.). But one will never know & to mind read & speculate would just drive me into a black hole!
The gist of it is: It is what it is!
I told kids I still Love her & that if she saw the damage of her decisions, that I would be willing to work it out with her & spend the rest of my life with her. My kids looked at me Stargazed & said why would you ever want to be with her now & why are you being so calm about this Daddy??
Ouch, How do you respond to 2 kids who look up to you & Love you so much. i want to set a great example & let them know that I don't condone it, but don't want to be a blatant jerk either.
i have had such a positive & great PMA for too long, I figured it was too good to last!
Such is life guys! Long live the Freshman class of 2012!
Funny thing is, the guy looked similar in body type to me, but was nowhere as good looking...LoL
Even my D-12 said he was ugly! That made feel pretty decent about myself. I knew all along, but never pursued for hard evedence because Denver & Starsky said that you have to be sure if you truly want to know.
i had no choice in this matter as they were holding hands 7 walked right past us in the store, looking like OH $HIT & kept walking. But kids were like why didn't Mommy want to stop & say Hi, and who is she with, so I moved in. Not sure if I played it right, But who gives a $HIT now. Too late for regrets on how I handled it.
Yeah, it's something that D8 doesn't know yet. She's met OM a few times but she thinks he's just a friend at this point. As far as why you would choose to be With her after this?
You could tell them that you love their mother very much and that you have made mistakes as well. Everyone does. You can tell them that there is nothing more important for you than to save their/your family and that their mom might just need some time to think things over. Tell them it takes a strong person to forgive and keep on fighting for what they believe. It's so much easier to walk away when things get tough. Tell them that you all need to be brave and patient right now and that their mother needs your love as difficult as it may be.
Not easy mate but on the bright side, It's a good thing this wasn't one of the days your were shopping in Walmart without your pants on.
Keep the PMA mate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
I told them almost exactly what you stated, although they still didn't understand. i have made mistakes & it is not for me to Judge! That is for God to Judge & him only.
I do love her very much, but this where I beat myself up on what I did to contribute to why she felt the need to fill the void of what I wasn't giving her. I definitely don't need to go down that Rabbit hole, but who knows anything when these situations present themselves?
On another note: If the kids weren't with me, then I would have definitely been shopping with my pants off. Of course that would have caused more problems, cause he would have been intimidated with what he saw...loL
You handled yourself extremely well given the circumstances. You should be proud of yourself.
I feel bad that you and your children had to experience that.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
