Still together but trying to save this

[Grocerykartman]

Fuanacdc,

Just a number of observations and questions for you:

I don't have much fight left in me. I scrape the bottom of the barrel every morning to find a reason to fight. Why should I keep doing this to myself...

They key word here is "fight". DB is not about fighting it. The more you fight it, the less fight you're going to have for everything you do in your life, which will make you even less happy than you are feeling right now.

She said I am committed to counseling but I can't say I am committed to trying.

But then she said:

She told the counsellor that the only reason she was there was not to hurt me.

So would you agree she's really not into it?

A few other questions for you:

How old are you? How old is your wife?

When you first met her, were you happy and without the anxiety you have had since?

What was your life like the day before you met her? What did you do for fun? What excited you when you got up the morning of the day you met her, not knowing you would meet her that day?

The OM: You said he was a friends of both of yours. Whose was he a friend of first?

The friends you called when you realized what the anxiety was doing to you. Not to get personal, but how did that go? Were they understanding?

Do you have a lot of good friends? Do you have a few good friends you could spend some time with now during this troubling time to get your mind off things? Ones that you can just go be a dude with, without getting into any discussions about your marriage problems? (Which you absolutely do NOT want to do)

I know I've asked you a lot of questions, but the intent is keep your mind thinking about more than just the bottom of the barrel you mentioned.

Don't despair, you will get through this.

I wish you well.