How to respond to this

[rubysgem]

My husband and I have separated in Sept 2011 for 4 months. That was "my" fault according to him. We didn't get along and he had to leave me. We began trying to reconnect in December. Just before New Year I got the call from the OWH. Long story short they'd been having an affair since March. He came back we did marriage counseling and he left again in April 2012. We tried or at least I tried to save our marraige. We dated each other and spent time together and in June he said he would get rid of her and come back. By the end of June he'd seen her and decided not to come back because he still has unresolved feelings. By the second week of July he had cut me off. I was so hurt and upset and confused. I was then getting myself back together and hardening my heart when he texted me again, and alot saying Hi and complimenting me and trying to keep in touch etc then I made the mistake of pushing to much and we're back to where we started. He said he loves me and is not 100 percent sure he wants to walk away but does spend time with her and does have feelings for her and he refers now to his feelings for me as "had" and "was" like it's over. In my heart I know this is a fog but that does not make it hurt any less. Now at this point I am sure I am going to lose him for good. What steps can I take? I am trying to heal myself but this is so hard. I want him to want to come home but I dont know how to do that.