Hey RH..I just noticed your post..I must have been typing mine while you posted yours. Glad I could help, but I can't really take the credit, I've seen others here post about distancer/pursuer before.
H had a great relationship with them when they were younger. Taking them bike riding, fishing, surfing, lots of time together. Since they turned 18 his attitude is they are not my responsibility any more, but I never new that meant I am not going to have a R with them anymore. They are annoyed at him and can't understand his behaviour. He is acting like I would expect them to act at 18 and 19. They are the sensible ones and he is acting out. Shake my head.
H never had a good R with his own father. They have been estranged for years. I see a lot of him in his father now. I am sure his father went through MLC years ago too, but I didn't understand it then. I see lots of similarities. It could run in families.
