We are in standstill mode. Going on the 5th month of separation. W moved out 5 months ago and has her own apartment on a 9 month lease. Even though I understand I am not supposed to believe a lot of what she’s said, there’s a couple bold statements she’s made.
Email from W, month two of separation.
“I don't want you to be miserable - I don't want that for any of us!!! Our kids deserve the very best parents that we can give them. I just know that unless you can be the family's financial rock and backbone every day, week, month and year from now until forever, that I can't return to what we had. And I don't even know what you are thinking about us”?
Text from W, month four of separation.
“I hate to tell you this via text but there is no way in hell we are getting back together! Everything needs to be cordial and for the kids, but our financial issues are exactly why I left! I want a divorce! I can’t believe where we are” “You say that you believe W is probably having an A. Why do you believe that? Why don't you want to ask her”?
Before our separation she was doing some very questionable things on the computer, text, drunkin girls trip to vegas, etc… I have a strong hunch but no concrete proof and I won’t snoop. To be frank, I don’t really want to know. I also believe in a earlier post, you might have mentioned that if you don’t think you can handle the answer then don’t ask. Denver, I won’t be addressing this with W. Other’s on this board have told me the signs of ongoing A are usually clear. As I mentioned, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s messed around but I don’t think it’s with one particular person. Once again, a lot of assumptions. [color:#009900]
W took off her wedding ring a couple weeks after we separated. As a lot of experience, W is now dressing top notch, looks better then ever, gets drunk and goes out with friends. she said our separation has been a "breath of fresh air” and a lot of “weight has been taken off her shoulders.”
Personally, I prefer to respond to W in a very cut and dry way. I try to be a bit understanding, at the same time I get to the point. I am very guarded right now, W and I have minimal communication other than logistics regarding the kids. Enough babble for now.
WoW! Rough, it seams that our situations in the Freshman class are very quite similar. But I imagine that Denver & other Vets who have reconciled will state that their situations were quite similar as well.
I will comment more on yours & try & give my perspective after I soak it in some more. I know that I have commented quite a bit, and more as a cheerleader, but due to the similarities, I think I may have something to offer. Just can't grasp it right now as I sit in the airport.
I think that having Denver, Starsky, LITB, & others to run things by will definitely help us (definitely won't hurt us...LoL). Especially since they made it through the tunnel and found light on the other side.
My IC told me from day one that it was going to get a lot harder before it gets easier. I laughed & said yeah right. 6 months later here I am...LoL
