Some times I think H has changed his mind and really isn't going to leave. But...I know my reality is that he told me he was leaving and hasn't said otherwise. So that's what I need to believe is true.
You're forgetting one of the big tips in DB- don't believe anything he says and only half of what he does! It sounds to me like there are some very positive baby steps happening, but you're refusing to believe them! You should be celebrating the baby steps! You're husband coming to kiss you, that's a good baby step! It should have been one of your short-term goals, and if it was you can now check it off!
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
So after BD, he would still be on his electronics and of course I would say something occasionally, but it just got to be so stupid that I stopped paying it any attention for the most part. I was checking the phone logs online, but that got old too, so I just stopped.
Good. Don't forget tip 10:
10. Do not spy on spouse.
It won't help your frame of mind and if he finds out it's going to push him farther away.
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
"I'm writing down ideas about my music stuff to talk to friend X about. I just wanted you to know why I was over here doing all of this typing." I just said okay, because I didn't really care. LOL
Oh but you should, that's another baby step in the right direction!
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
A friend remarked that my H isn't acting like someone who plans on leaving. I agreed, but said I can only go by what he's said and that is that he is in fact leaving.
Even if he leaves that's not the end of it. If he does leave, think of it as his chance to have the space he needs to think things through. But frankly his actions don't match his words. He may be testing you to see if you're going to try to talk him out of it. Don't take the bait, just keep playing it cool and stay detached but available.
