She hit you in the past and you somehow feel comfortable she won't shoot you? Really? I've found that all bets are off when it comes to these folks. At least for me, I have been surprised time and again due to not having the right mindset about what the "old" her would or would not do. Be careful and be cautious.
Her reasons are her reasons. You won't know what started this for her but you will see what her reactions are.
She was a blended family as a child? Who'd have thought, right? Seems that there might be some damage she is dealing with there? Just guessing, but she seems to be hell bent on repeating the process.
That seems sad and natural to me. I've seen similar patterns and it's not fun to watch
At some point, you need to end the madness. Kids or not, you are prolonging some of this for reasons I can't quite see. I'm sure protecting your kids and what they need are part of it, but is there something else?
To answer your other question, I see no reason to talk to her without a third party at any time if you can help it. I doubt she'll go for it, but it is a good idea to at least ask. For all communications. It keeps you from having to deal with the craziness and it gives you an opportunity to have things documented.
And no, she doesn't want you to remarry. She wants control. Why? Who knows? Who cares?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
