Denver: I'll certainly craft that very business-like email, but not sure if I can do it tomorrow, as it'll be a crazy-busy day.
And apologies for making it sound like a PH forum for a minute! I'll keep those details out of it in the future!
I must say that although this was only a very small baby step, I feel pretty good about it... I'm standing up for myself a bit, trying to get things done on MY terms, and despite early hiccups, mostly handled myself with the strength and dignity that I've been lacking recently.
I don't plan on responding at all to her emails or texts for a while, not matter how inflammatory they may be. I'll be, as I proved earlier today, too likely to respond with emotion, and without a level-head, which will only hurt what I'm doing here. I'm pretty sure if I sent the "until we can both respect one another" type email or text that it would only incense her to an uncomfortable level... I know her, and I know that she'll be VERY upset for a while (she tends to hold grudges for quite a while) but I can't imagine that she can continue to be upset over this situation... I mean all I'm trying to do is talk to her in person about some major issues (which she's only guessing about... and she seems to be guessing that I'll be telling her I'm having an A, which is INSANE! )
I think i'll be able to sleep pretty well tonight, knowing I've taken the first step toward fighting for MYSELF while still fighting for the Marriage! That's 180 central for me, who was always willing to do WHATEVER I could to make W happy, putting my feelings aside...
Chatterbug: Your advice, albeit brief, is sage-like. 24 hour rule would do wonders... But knowing how impatient I am, I may have to make it a 12 hour rule!
Chatterbug: Your advice, albeit brief, is sage-like. 24 hour rule would do wonders... But knowing how impatient I am, I may have to make it a 12 hour rule! smile
Let me correct that. I think you meant to write.
24 hour rule would do wonders... But knowing how impatient I am, I may have to make it a 12 hour rule!make it a double 12 hour rule! smile
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Lightening the mood is something we could all use more of going through Trials & Tribulations in life!
Hang in there Brother! The Freshman Class of 2012 will persevere! And once we do, I think we should all have a reunion & meet up face to face to celebrate our restored families!
So I'm anxious as hell about sending off this email, and wanted to post it here to get your advice before firing off... I don't want this to cause another firestorm, but I like Denver's advice on sending this email today...
Hey W,
In response to your last text yesterday, I wanted to let you know what you'd need to do to take yourself off the insurance and phone plan.
For [Insurance}, the login is [XXX] and the password is [XXX}. All you have to do once you login is "Delete Driver" and "Delete Vehicle" and you're all set. The next payment comes out on 9-4-12, so if you do it after that date, you'll have a full month to get other coverage, if that's what you decide.
For the phone, the login is [XXX] and the password is [XXX]. You'll want to select your phone and select "Change Plan" then you can switch to an Individual plan with [XXX] if you'd like. If you want to go with another provider, let me know, because I'll have to actually call them to authorize the phone number being switched to another carrier. This bill was paid about 4 days ago, so again you have plenty of time to get other coverage if that's what you decide.
I'll deposit the $500 for my half of the [XXX] trip on September 14 and should be able to get the $ for the couch to you by the weekend you're planning on coming down. Your [WORK] check will be deposited on Tuesday.
For insurance you are covered to the following date : After this time you will be on your own insurance. If you have any questions call Judy are agent at xxx-xxx-xxxx
For the phone you are covered to the following date :
If you need to change providers let me know as I have to call the provider and give authorization.
The cheque for the deposit will be mailed to you on this day :
H
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
This places the responsibility of her to get insurance and phone by this date. It stops her from the oh I forgot. I would send this in email to her. Not Text. I would print it and file it. (I forgot to mention include the account numbers in the email not login and password )
I would also print and file any replies.
I would call the insurance and phone and ask her to be removed on those days.
I would follow up with insurance and phone 2 days before and the day of.
In future if you do not do direct deposit for work mail her the cheque.
Its [censored] that she is hard up on money. But what can you expect when you quit your job and move to a city that has unemployment around 10%
Is she still doing work for your company?
If not I would terminate her.
And what is this about the couch ?
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
We bought a couch together a few months before she moved out, and she asked if I wanted to keep it and pay for the other half. I'll gladly do that so I don't have to buy another!
Yes, she's still doing work for my company, and despite all this, she's a very valuable asset. She needs 0 management and always gets her work done early and perfectly.
As weird as it sounds, I could care less if she stays on my insurance/phone or not. The difference in the payments if she leaves them will be under $100 a month (we got good plans and connections on them), and don't think that taking THAT hardline a stance would be beneficial to either of us. As it stands now, she is proud enough to want to pay for everything on her own and doesn't want a penny from me, now or in the future... Turning this into a battle over a few hundred bucks NOW could lead to heavy consequences in the future...
