He NEVER would have done that before. After BD, I found out just how many secrets he had. But lately, he's been an open book. He tells me things without me asking, when in fact, I rarely ask him anything, unless its related to my SS or the house. We still talk and hang out, but I don't really ask him questions about his life.
A friend remarked that my H isn't acting like someone who plans on leaving. I agreed, but said I can only go by what he's said and that is that he is in fact leaving. The friend asked if I think H is leaving because he can't forgive himself for what happened. I said that is probably true on some level, but there's nothing I can do about it. H has to work on his "stuff" just like I've worked on mine.
I haven't read all of your sitch, but these couple of points you made seem a bit parallel to my own so I thought I'd comment.
With regards to my W, I have been complaining for years about her not answering my calls, not texting me when plans change, basically not communicating with me. About a month ago she moved out, then moved back, and I've basically stopped asking her anything. I just let her come and go as she pleases, and I plan for the kids accordingly. Since then, she's always telling me what her day looks like, when she'll be home, she'll call when things change. It's kinda weird that in order to get what I wanted, I had to stop asking and complaining about it. Sounds like the same for you to a point so I say, keep doing what works.
With regards to the second point above, I don't know that I'd worry about it one way or the other. I'd just take it day by day, enjoy the good moments, try to fill them with laughter and fun. My W really never said she was moving back in, she just kinda started bringing stuff back. We've never discussed it. I just take it day by day and that seems to be working for both of us.
