I've done everything wrong and need help!!!!!

[KevinScotland]

Hi folks,

I've been reading the comments left and yous have been asking what work I've done on myself. Am going to answer that honestly. I have been trying but not enough. Any changes I do make are temporary and I can slip back when I get upset or hurt. The one thing that has remained consistent is not to blame and to forgive her infidelity. I don't mention that anymore even if am hurt. I have ask though if she's seeing him now as a serious relationship (of course she refuses to answer that).

I know I have a long way to go. I know it's going to be hard but like it says I have time on my side. Yes I have a temper. Never physically violent ever but yes angry and use harsh words. I can see also from 25yearsmlc I have a selfish side sometimes. Especially lately since I've been hurt and it's like it's all about my pain. I know am not a bad guy tho and would help anyone and encourage and compliment anyones achievements.

Am glad yous are honest enough to show me my character defects that I have sometimes.

I need to work on myself. Start to find out who I am now and make changes to what I don't like about me. Change for me and hopefully show a side like people have said only a fool would leave.

The hard work starts today. A change for me that's going to be a life long change. I certainly don't want to be fake and someone am not to trick someone into liking me so it's going to be an honest change.

25yearsmlc, as much as it hurt and made me upset and not like myself your analysation really did make me look at myself. As strange as it seems to me to thank someone for upsetting me I'd like to say thanks for your honesty. I don't want people to say what I want to hear. I need the truth. Thank you.

I shall keep this post going with stories and changes but I've got enough out now about my situation and my pain so am going to start logging my changes and how am working on me. My first is to accept my part in what went wrong and stop putting all the blame on my wife. Face up to the hard reality that I did wrong things also.

I have always been honest. I don't lie. So with that in mind and behind this project of change I know I can make honest changes for the better in me. I hope it's not too little to late for my marriage but I know it's not to late for me to benifit from change for the future.

Kevin