i am in remarkably similar position as you. i read some posts of yours, i'm not very good at this forum and couldn't find your entire thread.
I've been living with man for 34+ years and find myself now trying to embrace this db philosophy and having a very darn hard time doing it. I can see how it might work- then the old fears & emotions creep in and i feel that maybe for him it's "all over" and there is nothing i can do but sit around and "bleed".
i've been db-ing since sept. last year- when i picked up a mwd book at the flea market-it flopped open to mlc and i read it and said - Oh, my God! this is us.
i just wanted to say hi and express my support and good luck wishes. i am having trouble finding things and people on this forum. (my first ever forum)
i keep thinking i save certain people and their posts - only to never find them again (well, easily) i run across them sometimes in other people's stuff.
i'll go look for your posts- i am less "terrified" - so one tiny bit more "accepting". by no means good at this, or comfortable with it- or even not sure i'm not crazy to even try.
after 34+ years with this man and feeling like we've been a part of each other's lives so long i'm not sure where i end and he begins- now this - he has become like a different person. i am not sure i like this new person- he has an ea and ow and that is what blows my "compassion". i can understand everything else and can "ride it out" - knowing he is with someone else when i'm lonely & blue (last nite comes to mind) - i lose it. this morning i'm still trying-
where we get this inner strength to just plug along one day after the other- i do not know- it appears (so far) - fingers crossed. sorry you are here and experiencing this- good luck- i'm going to go try and find your story-
