You have certainly made me think. I won't try to respond yet as I want to really search deep to answer that. I will say as I first read your post I could feel in me what your saying.
I know I could have done more and yes been more patient on occasions. But I never completely left her alone.
Was I her rock. Not always. It wasn't I was frustrated she wasn't healing fast enough. I put no presure on her at all, I know I felt I couldn't do enough and wanted to do more but I was prepared to give her as much time as she needed. Maybe I wanted to be part of her healing process and share her recovery. I don't know exactly. It was a confusing time for everyone. I do know I tried different things and if something seemed to help i continue but then what worked one day might not the next but I knew she changed day to day also sometimes positive sometimes not.
Honesty. I could have done more. I could have been better ive know this for sometime that I made mistakes after her dad died. I guess just how major and how deeply they effected her view of me am maybe now finding out.
Ya know am writing this and I have a pretty low feeling about myself right now. I could have went the extra mile and been stronger. Honestly I would have given her as long as it took without askin for anything in return but I know also what I had to endure with abuse and violence from her and I took it without criticising.
I do know though from how am feeling thinking about this that I did let her down. I could have been more.
I guess if I get the chance I can only try and make up for it and in time hopefully she can trust me again.
It's not all about me.
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
