Thanks Denver. I'm sitting tight... On my drive home from work, I actually felt a sense of relief in her response... Not sure why...

And I'd LOVE to read your similar situations! So PLEASE feel free to post them here!

So as to the money I "Owe" her... Before the bomb drop, but after I discovered pictures she'd sent to OM, when things were looking to be moving in a positive direction, we planned a trip to Vegas together to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. She paid for the hotel and plane on her Credit Cards... Well before the trip, she dropped the ILYBINILWY bomb and told me she was moving... so the trip never happened...

Before I began DBing, I told her that I'd pay her back for half of the non-refundable trip she booked... approx $500... So that's the money I owe her.

As I'm a man of my word, I plan on paying that back to her, and now that I've received my raise at work, It shouldn't be an issue in a month or so to do that.

You're 100% right on switching the phone and insurance... I know she's out of work (aside from the work she's doing for the small company that I own, but that's only paying a few hundred dollars a month) and I do indeed feel a connection in being able to continue to provide for her during these times. So the combination of me not wanting her to struggle too badly with finances and the slight connection I feel by being able to provide for at least a few of her basic needs is EXACTLY what's keeping me paying for those bills. I mean, it's only a couple hundred bucks a month total, and I can afford that.

You're right, I don't feel ANY need for a phone call to resolve those issues. I can write out an email next week to point out those details. I'll be sure to post that email here before I send though, as the advice of you folks is invaluable!

I too find it VERY interesting that she's so concerned about mutual friend... Let's call her J for the sake of brevity...

Now I may be revealing a bit too much here, but it's all anonymous right? smile

So while things were good with W and I, we became friends with J, who is an incredibly beautiful waitress at the bar we always watched football at on Sundays. W would always comment on how attracted to her that she was, and in the heat of passion, she would often bring up the fact that she wanted to invite J into the equation... I always played along in the heat of the moment, but never discussed it outside of those moments, although I know she wanted it sincerely...

Anyways, I KNOW she thinks that something is going on between J an I, but in all honesty, I've literally seen her ONE time since W moved away, and that was when she waited on us at the bar! We text occasionally (2-3 times a month) always about nonsense, but nothing more. I reached out to her last week, as we have a hole in our Fantasy Football league (since W decided to not play in it anymore) and I'd exhausted ALL my other options. She said that it sounded fun and joined... The posts of FB welcomed her into the league...

Again, I KNOW that W thinks something is going on between us, but it's absolutely not. As a matter of fact, a few months ago, J and I had an in depth conversation (via text) about how she cares deeply for W and doesn't want to complicate the situation by continuing to be my friend... I, at the time, didn't think it would be a big deal, as I'm 100% positive that nothing would EVER happen between us while I'm still married to W (or, most likely, even if we split for good) and she agreed... But ever since that conversation, we STILL haven't hung out.

Personal thoughts: I think W is projecting her situation with OM on me! I think she's trying to further justify what she's doing by saying "OH HE'S DOING IT TOO"... and I'm sure she'll be telling friends and family the same thing... But even though I'm NOT doing ANYTHING outside the bonds of marriage (i'm not doing ANYTHING that ANYONE would consider bad for a marriage) I think she's convinced herself that I'm having an A with J, because we talked about our mutual attraction to her, and now that W is hundreds of miles away (and with OM) she feels I'd think it's "Free Game" and would pounce on the opportunity.

Here's the truth: I haven't. I won't. I never would. I respect my M, and, as you all know, I'm fighting my a$$ off to bring M back on the right track...

But that can't change her mind!

So I'm not responding to her Text. If she calls, I'm ignoring the call. If she emails, I'm not responding until I post my response here and get the advice of you fine people...

I'm done making mistakes. I'm done being walked all over. I need to take some control and fight for ME AND my M.