Tomorrow is a New Day

[hopefulinga]

Hi LA,

Thanks for the advice. Sometimes I am pretty good at ignoring him and what he says. Othertimes, not so much. I wasn't really offened when he got mad about the handyman because the stuff needed to be done. And he's never said anything since then. Also, I've gotten the handyman with out telling him, so I need to make sure I keep him informed so he has some say so in the matter.

The only time I really get bothered about him not living up to his responsibilites is when I see him bend over backwards for other people. Part of this is because he has no spine to say no. It makes me feel like our relationship is not important enough to him.

I am really trying to listen to what he is saying and not react as much. And I am thanking him and giving positive reinforcement. When he thank me for dinner, I told him that I was glad he liked it, and I thanked him for thanking me and told him how much I appreciate it.

You are right about the running away. I've watched him run from other problems instead of dealing with them.

His work is still pretty crazy and who knows about his health. He doesn't go to the doctor. I am sure he is seeing his own mortality after the 2 recent deaths. And I've thought for a while that he has some depression, which he will not deal with. I never thought about him feeling like he's let me down. I've will have to ponder over how that can affect him and what I can do to let him know he hasn't.

He will be going away again next weekend and I will try to do a little more reading. I'm also taking some notes. I tend to over think things, which can cloud the ability to recognize the small changes. My analysis skills make it hard because I try to analyze what he does and says to me. I am trying to stop that and take it for what it is.