glad you are focused on enjoying this trip with your son. i think you are exactly where you need to be..
progress is never a straight line shooting up (although i wish it were often)..it is full of ups and downs, twists and turns..
to me, what you are experiencing means that you are really growing, there is so much self awareness that it can be overwhelming and lead to confusion which can bring up doubt and fear.. but that is where the unconditional friendliness with ourselves that pema talks about so much comes in..so that we can relax with what is in order to move forward...
so perhaps your trip can not only be about enjoying S but also about enjoying you, zig! i wish you much peace and relaxation and legos on your trip!!
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13