Yes I have been playing the stalker and checking on everything.
Read Michele's books. One of her suggestions is DO NOT spy on your spouse. If your spouse finds out what you're doing it will just push her farther away. Plus, as the others have said DB'ing is about changing YOU, not her. There is no info you can gain from spying that will improve you or your situation, so don't do it.
Originally Posted By: Desperate man
I do not believe there is anything physical that has gone on but emotional affair is a high concern.
An emotional affair (EA) is just as damaging as a physical one (PA). Again, this doesn't affect your DB'ing approach. The bottom line is you and your wife have grown apart, her response to that was to seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere. Read Michele's books, also read "The Five Love Languages", it will also teach you a lot about what was missing from your marriage.
Be humble, do some soul-searching and determine how you contributed to your marriage getting to this point. Don't blame your wife or yourself, focus on solutions. Change yourself. Stick with the changes. And wait. Your wife will notice, but initially won't believe the changes are real or permanent. She'll think you're just doing it to get her back. Patience is critical. As was mentioned above, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Accept that a separation may be inevitable, your wife may need the space to sort through her thoughts (that's what I'm going through as well). Above all else, never give up hope! There's always hope
