I don't think it was terrible the whole time for her. She said her turning points were when she begged her H for forgiveness one night (on bended knee) thus accepting blame for her share. He had no reaction!
Then she told her OBGYN (!) about it because she felt she couldn't trust family & friends. This doctor told her H at one point what an SOB he was. She said it got better after that, but he still drank heavily and stayed out till 2 or 3 in the morning often and wouldn't talk to her!
She said in later years he didn't drink at all but never ever told her where he was those nights except he wanted to have "fun". And she said he acted like a kid again during MLC! Must've been a number of years ago, too.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway