Kaffe is exactly right! NC is for you & by what you have posted, Starsky, I, & others have recommended that you go NC so that you can work on yourself & your emotions. Because based on the pattern that you have posted, contact with your H has caused you nothing but confusion & pain.
I definitely do not intend for you to go NC to invoke some kind of response from your H, and truly apologize if that is the way it came through in my posts.
I was in the same boat as you about having those emotions every time I came in contact with my W, so Starsky & Denver suggested to me that I should do NC as a 180 or LRT, to give me time to work on myself & regroup so to speak.
You won't truly have NC, because you have children together. But you can limit the contact tremendously, which will in turn give you time to step back & work on YOU.
