"When H dropped off the kids this morning he said. "S1 has a bad rash. Do you clean him everyday?"
"Yes, I do. Thanks for alerting me to it though."
KG, you added a lot of baggage to his question based on past conversations and past hurts, and wanting to feel like a good mom, and how dare he, and on and on. But if the question was really what you wrote here, none of that was called for and it would help you to practice a stop sign or deep breath to avoid reacting before your brain can kick in.
Try to always assume the best in what he asks you, don't try to read between the lines, wonder at what he meant, or take offense, because YOU will feel better in the longrun if you don't. I heard a motivational speaker once tell a group to always go on the assumption that everybody likes you, really likes you. What's the harm? Either they do, and you can be comfortable and confident and shine in their presence, or they don't and you won't know it anyway, and you'll be comfortable and confident and shine in their presence... I was struck by that because I often assumed people were judging me or wouldn't like me, or would think my jokes were dumb or my singing lousy or whatever, and that held me back.
So, do you think you could have just answered "yes, why yes I do, and thanks I'll keep an eye on it" or something? And just chosen not to take offense?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
