Month 3 no movement

[Mrs D]

Hang in there Kiddo! There is always HOPE. That and the fact that God really does work in mysterious ways that we cannot see. Maybe you both have some more "ME" work to do on yourselves, but idk!

funny Sup you said this... I said the same thing to a GF of mine this afternoon. What if God pulled us apart for me to fix myself? And with the things that I continually here about hubs GF, what if God pulled us apart as well so that hubs could appreciate me more? I know if the stories that I hear are true - hes going to have a long, long road ahead of him if he decides to stay with her. So maybe there is truth to what you say. Thanks again Sup!

[Mrs D]

suppo: What an inspiration you are this morning, thanks for that it not only gave me a smile, but lifted my spirits pretty good. When things seem unbelievably bleak that when we have to rely on God to carry us. It is why I said before that 'if' she does file im going to drag my feet as much as possible, and in my state that means I can stretch it out 18 months from seperation simply by fighting the grounds for divorce. Since there are no, no fault divorces here she'd have to file on general indignities or such since she couldnt file on infidelity or abuse, and the lawyer I spoke with said its virtually impossible to prove grounds in court so we stay seperated and wait out the 18 months.

Im still hopeful she won't file b/c it seems like it will be harder to come back from that, but im with you on the impulsive thing....if she gets a wild hair and files i'll just move forward as planned and continue the journey. I think I get a little more confident each day, and its awesome b/c for 5 of the last 6 nights my S11 has been staying with me and he talks like he wants to stay there all the time. Part of the reason is he doesn't have to get up so early to get ready for school when he stays with me, but I think its also b/c he and I are alike in that we're always on the go and have somewhere to be. We go to jr. high and high school football games and such anytime we have a free evening and her free evenings are spend sitting at home so he'd rather run with me than sit with her most of the time.

But no matter what the reasons are I think shes getting a real taste of what life may be like if she doesn't decide to at least try to work on this thing soon, she's going to have to face that one son is nearly grown and the other may be gone alot more than she thought because he wants to live with me.

Thanks again suppo, you kind of made my morning with all your positive thoughts. Your exactly right....we WILL improve ourselves and everything else will work out after that. God's perfect timing not ours.

I agree with Carnac and the positive thoughts ALL day today!! Thank you Sup!! You are a true inspiration for sure today!

[Carnac]

Sup and MrsD: thanks for the kind words. Im glad you both think we'll make it because i'll be honest today's been a little tough. I keep thinking that abscence can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make you forget about things as well. Im trying to have a good day and really can' worry about whether she's thinking of me or not.....who am I kidding I know she is b/c I saw that she checked our shared email adress today and went through some of the mail in there for her from people at our church so while it may not be good thoughts or vibes she's having, at the very least she has thought of me and I'll take that today b/c i've been thinking of her so someone better be thining of me.

Like I told MrsD the other day if I spend all my time thinking of her and she spends all her time thinking of her then who the heck is bothering to think about me. The point of that is I gotta spend my time thinking about me if she's gonna spend her time thinking about her, but at least for today i'll flip that a bit b/c I know ive been spending my time on her today, but at least I know she spent some time on me today as well....just hope it was good thoughts.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Arsene,

Timelines are a tough thing to gauge, and I wish I could wave a magic wand for all of us to just reconcile now. But there are obviously some things that still need to be worked out that we can't explain before that happens.

I have seen a huge growth in you since you first started posting on here. I have read for awhile before I ever registered and know that the force is strong with you!

Maybe we should change our group name to "The Jedi"

Hang in there my Brothers and Sisters!! We will persevere & we will have our true loves back for a new R, that shadows the old R with them 10 times over.

And if you don't have your "old love" back, with your level of awareness you will find yourself in a situation that actually is good for you.

[Mrs D]

Regret: Isnt it amazing the things you think when your young, and then as you get older you understand that you really didnt have any idea what you were talking about back then. If you had told me 20 years ago that I would ever have a wife cheat on me then I would have told you that I wouldnt have a wife anymore b/c i'd get rid of her so fast it would make her head spin....well 6 years ago it happened and we're still married. I bring that up because my brother and his wife were divorced and then remarried when I was much younger and I thought that was the craziest thing I hd ever heard of. If your married, and then things get so bad that you have to get a divorce, what in the heck are you doing marrying that person again.

Im hopeful i'll never eat those words, but I understand it much more now. If I thought that divorce would bring us back together i'd be the one filing as quickly as possible so we could get started on the get back together part. I guess I dont have a point except that I can look back and see for myself how dumb I used to be, and also think that its a reason often times to ignore friends even when they think their giving you great advice....not on here mind you, but I have friends who already think I should just be done with this whole thing and get a divorce, even though we've only been apart 11 weeks. They simply don't understand b/c they've never been there.

Hope everyone has had a good Wednesday...

Carnac - your story brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful story about your brother. I am SO so glad that Im not the crazy one thinking my H and I can work things out. And I agree - sometimes you have to disregard what your friends are saying.

Not sure if you listen to country music and to be honest, I didnt until this past July when I bought tickets to a concert that I am going to this Friday night. I bought them in hopes of doing something more that my H would like to do. Yeah, well. So Im going myself - but that is besides the point. The point I was going to tell you is that there is a group - Brantley Gilbert. They have a song "You Dont know her like I do." Youtube it. Its really puts in perspective what friends are telling you to do, and what you feel. Music moves me. Thought I would share. Enjoy

[Mrs D]

I keep thinking that abscence can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make you forget about things as well.

THIS is what I deal with ALOT. Because he has someone to make him forget. The one thing that I am holding onto Monday nights scene - maybe he is really missing the family life. And that was why he decided to stay at the house, instead of driving our son 7 minutes away to his. Mind reading at best I know.

[Carnac]

MrsD: I actually know the song well....and absolutely love it.

[Mrs D]

MrsD: I actually know the song well....and absolutely love it.

Awesome. It hits home doesnt it?

[suppo]

Sup and MrsD: thanks for the kind words. Im glad you both think we'll make it because i'll be honest today's been a little tough. I keep thinking that abscence can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make you forget about things as well. Im trying to have a good day and really can' worry about whether she's thinking of me or not...

You're going to have tough days Brothers & Sisters! God never promised to have you go through no pain!! But he did promise that you would come out Un-Stained!!

Here is food for thought & a for sure truth: Count the number of times a day you think about your Prodigal. Now know that this is the exact amount of times each day that your Prodigal is thinking about you!

Only difference is: They have already perfected the DBing techniques & truly know how to detach without wearing their emotions on their sleeves!

Like a said in a previous post, another thing that has helped me at times is: I pull my pants & underwear off before I go shopping at Wal-Mart. It's both refreshing & stress-free to have the wind breeze over you butt while you shop for items you need for the house. Funny thing is, that nobody ever seems to mind.

I wouldn't suggest trying this at a Target or something though, cause you might not get the same response from the clientele that shops there.

[Arsene]

You guys did have quite a busy day in your time zone today. I'm taking forever to catch up on your sitches. Glas you are all having a good, positive day

I have seen a huge growth in you since you first started posting on here. I have read for awhile before I ever registered and know that the force is strong with you!

Maybe we should change our group name to "The Jedi"

Hang in there my Brothers and Sisters!! We will persevere & we will have our true loves back for a new R, that shadows the old R with them 10 times over.

Thanks mate. I also believe we'll get our true love back.

The point of that is I gotta spend my time thinking about me if she's gonna spend her time thinking about her, but at least for today i'll flip that a bit b/c I know ive been spending my time on her today, but at least I know she spent some time on me today as well....just hope it was good thoughts.

Way to keep it positive mate!