Good to know on the acts of kindness. Yes I have read it. Her primary language is physical affection. It's kind of hard to talk to her that way right now.
So UGH.... The W and I just told the kids that we're separating. D cried which made us both cry S7 held it together, but said he'd cry if we D. The youngest S, well he's 2. We reassured them that what's going on has nothing to do with them in regards to responsibility and that they can tell us anything at anytime. So I'll be out of the house starting tomorrow morning. Then I'm coming back on Thursday night as she will then be leaving for a few nights. Sunday and Monday (since it's Labor Day) will be dedicated to the kids. .
That must have been so difficult for you to see. It was very difficult to help S4 through the separation. I am thankful that he's adjusting pretty well (after a year).
My advice. Continue DBing. You are their rock and their example! All eyes are on you!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Thanks for the encouraging words Vero; and glad your S is adjusting well.
This morning I gave her a cup of coffee while she was getting ready for work; and attempted to validate her feelings regarding her choice to separate and everyone saying "she's wrong and ruining lives." I at least wanted her to know that as an insider of this situation (one directly involved), I have an idea of what she's going through and to not succumb to the pressure of everyone else.
Wow, I feel as if this has been forever ago. From what I remember, I simply told her that I knew she was under a lot of pressure from outside forces, not me, and that we will work this out as individuals. Leaving...for work. I later then left for work and per her idea / my agreement, have been staying at my parents that past few days and nights. Ironically, she ahs thrown many "ropes" towards me, with which I fortunately did not respond to, like I normally would. I kept all contact about the kids. During the past couple days I have been working on GAL. In about an hour I will be meeting up with the W and the kids for a family function. To be honest, my stomach has many butterflies in it. Nervous ones. Wish me luck on not backsliding tonight! 8)
So last night the family event went well. It was great to see the kids and have fun with them. A few times she threw me off guard, with future statements including me (made me feel good); that she was getting a sitter for the kids so she can go out Sat (my guess for the OM's bday -- it is what it is I guess); and that's "sad" for me not be coming home with her and the kids at the end of the night. I generally maintained my comnposure throughout everything...until the drive back to where I'm staying when I hopped on the emotional roller coaster for a moments. Woke up feeling better for me. Despite all that, I did send a innocent flirty text message that was received well. So that's where I am today...at this moment at least.
Advice ASAP please. So I comr home from work. W is pleasant as am I. She's getting ready to leave for a work conference out of town tonight thru Sat, and staying out on Sat night coming back home on Sunday morning. My D saw her pack a bottle of Vodka and made a comment (out of place, but somewhat accurate). All signs seem that she's acting funny, not humorously, and that she's most likely on her way to the OM's, possibly lying about the whole conference thing. I so want to call and ask about this whole scenario, yet I realize that goes against everything DB says to. Do I just sit idly by and see what does it does not happen? My gut stash call (the angry insecure part) my head says no. Anyone?
I am not familiar with your situation so take this as general advice for now.
I don't see anything wrong with you trying to confirm the work conference. Knowledge is power my friend. If she is in an A, you need to know.
If you find bad information, sit on it for now. If you end up confronting her, you want it to be after you have carefully thought out how you are going to do that, and after you have reigned in your emotions.
If you confirm that there is a conference, then try to put the other possibility out of your mind.
The A will reveal itself in time, IF it is happening.
Sorry I can't be more help right now.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I'm 100% sure there is / has been at least an EA. This weekend is the OM's bday (i know that from when I was a snoop). So there's no way to confirm the conference w/o seeming controlling - one of her complaints of me. This is killing me, and yet I'm beginning to think this will be my hardest test to date.
