After 18 months - H is finally filing.

[keep_going]

This thing won't stop bothering me...

The question is not if he is right for the sake of being right.
The question is if my approach and POV are incorrect - for the sake of this and all my relationships; so I can learn to identify my behavior and fix it.

I don't want to have unrealistic expectations of others and I don't feel anyone should feel like walking on eggshells fearing my reactions to things that may be perfectly normal.

I understand my underlying fears behind my defensiveness...
I always wanted to please my H. I worked so hard, but felt short. I constantly felt that he was pointing it out too. He always denied it and accused me of being defensive. This is what I want to determine.

Maybe it was all in my mind (like today?). I had always been very insecure about pleasing him - this has to do with my co-dependency and my guilt because I was trying to do too much and I knew I was failing. I also felt all the responsibility for making things ok and internally beat myself up when things were not.

Anyways, I am writing all of this because I am trying to get to the bottom of a behavior pattern in me that is not working and I want to fix.

That is where my question is coming from...