After 18 months - H is finally filing.

[keep_going]

I need some feedback.

When H dropped off the kids this morning he said. "S1 has a bad rash. Do you clean him everyday?" What kind of Q is that... The kid is 13 months and he is the 3rd baby I raise. His implication of me not taking care of S1 triggered me.

I said. "Of course I do. H, you are the smartest man I know. Did you really need to ask that? You know the answer perfectly well so please look into your motives for asking that." He said I was getting defensive, he just wanted to know what happened. He then left.

I sent him a text apologizing for getting defensive and reacting.
He said he just wanted to know so we could avoid the problem in the future. I said rashes are perfectly normal even when there is good hygiene. I said I was offended because he immediately assumed I did something wrong and asked him if it occurred to him that the rash might have started yesterday after he picked the kids up.

I then told him I should have not gotten sucked into this nonsensical blaming game with him. That this is something we do all the time and I am trying to stop it. He defended himself again and said I was reading too much into it and accused me of being passive aggressive.

He ended the text exchange by sending me some suggestions in quotes for how to stop the rash that he found out on the internet.


I know I overreacted. I should not get pulled in. I get that.

My question is -
This happened all the time... Something "wrong" happened. H would would question me, with the implicit assumption that I did something to cause it. He would then proceed to instruct me on how to fix it.

I always felt his approach was very condescending and felt so belittled by it.
Is he right? Am I reading too much into it?