MrsD: Im only about 11 weeks in so im not far ahead of you at all, and there are times that im still pretty scattered. I think as i've said before its about making it through today. I've never been to AA but know enough about it to understand that they got it right that you don't think about not ever doing it again, its too daunting of a task and you would never make it. Instead you get up every day and decide intentionally that you CAN and WILL make it through today.
And it will slowly build on itself....another thing I do is journal, some of my journaling makes its way on here, but lots of it is simply kept in a word file where I put my thoughts down and then read back through them later in the day and it helps me see the flaws in my thinking at times. I can tell you that right now I have 2 seperate draft emails to my W....I may never send either of them, but i've written them down and have proofread them multiple times, changed them often, and then i simply leave them there in my drafts box in case I ever need them. One of them i'll send if she files, and one of them i'll send if she chooses to try to work this out, but mostly they were just written to get my thoughts worked out.
I don't know if it would help you at all, but those are a couple of the things that I do when things seem to be snowballing on me and I can't get my mind to stop. The other thing that i've found to be incredibly effective is to help someone else, help someone here with encouragement or advice, help someone in 'real life' with encouragement or with their lawn or anything.....i've really tried to 'serve' others as of late and nothing has improved my sense of self more than that. Quite the paradox
