Ok. This is where the 180 is so hard. I could not sleep last night very well thinking about this. If she wants passion and to be desired should I not show it to her now if that what she wrote on Monday?
My situation is so similar to yours, and this is something I've faced as well. Really you can't detach while also demonstrating passion and desire. Personally I decided to pull back from the "passion and desire" stuff because more than anything that's pressure, and pressure is the last thing she needs right now. Work on the baby steps for now, that can come later.
Originally Posted By: Sam1313
I said I love you to both the kids this morning before I left and then I told my wife have a great day. I fear she may be thinking I do not love her especially when one of her complaints is that I have treated the kids better than her.
I think you mentioned you've been reading the 5 Love Languages, so you already know how to show love without saying "ILY". Follow Michele's advise and DO NOT say "ILY". It's pressure. Words are cheap, actions mean a lot more right now. Show her you love her through your actions. Personally even though my wife's love language is "words of affirmation" I've been demonstrating love in all 5 languages. Also I avoid situations like you mentioned where you're saying ILY to the kids and there's an awkward spot where you deliberately don't say it to your wife. I try to work it out to where I can say it to the kids when the wife is out of the room or far enough away where it's not evident that I'm deliberately avoiding saying it to her.
