Hi Lapoo-I don't write very often but you are asking the same question I did.

Should I continue to refrain from snooping and continue to practice backing off? I actually feel good when I back off because when I'm so into him and realize he is still engaged in the EA, I'm hurt and devastated all over again.

Yes, you answered your own question, stay out of his way....you will be the only one hurt by snooping.

I can only speak about my own experience...but when I find something (even on accident) I wish I hadn't....wish I wasn't so darn smart for my own good.

My H has is having an EA for over a yr. now with a horrible person of bad character, alcoholic, she's even very verbally abusive to him, but "she's his friend".

I was told by my C that it is the camaraderie of being with someone that they met as they are today (confused, angry, what ever the case) and the expectance from that person.

Whatever the case may be, you are so much better off like you said, backing off, GAL.

They do notice...it's amazing how fast they notice...but do it for you. and your little one, you H will flip flop alot...so just keep going forward.

Hope this helps a little grin

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!