Hoping it's not too late

[MrBond]

Actually I don't think alot of it you need to work on together. You need to start with yourself first. Deal with your own self issues. For example, it seems like you tend to think of the negatives in a situation rather than the positives. You thought of having an affair before exhausting positive solutions in your M, you "believed" that he was relieved that you didn't get a promotion. You seem to only think of the worst. Try changing that.

Plus don't be as critical or self-condemning. I think that's the main reason why your H is afraid of you. He doesn't know what to trust is correct.