First, I agree with 007...he's good with the 2x4s and I think he's right on.
Originally Posted By: 9600
Really I don't think the counseling is working, I don't think we're solving anything by going on weekly dates if she's still so angry and scared. When the subject came up in counseling I actually suggested once every 2 weeks, but she wanted once a week. So I'm conflicted. My mind is very black and white on this, and I need to be more comfortable with gray. It's not easy.
My W is the same way. We talked yesterday and she spent a fair amount of time talking about something that happened 15 years ago, before we were married. It's a deep deep wound that never really healed completely. Frankly, we have a lot of those on both sides. It doesn't magically go away. Listen to her, validate, apologize if you need to. Help her heal. The counseling alone is not going to do it all.
I spent a lot of time thinking "the past is the past, let's move forward" and it got me a lot of grief. My W was just not willing to do it. When I started listening to her, apologizing for past errors, working on understanding why I did and felt the things I did, then I started to see some positive responses. But again, it's a slow slow process and one blow up can set you back weeks or months.
