Hello this is my first post here on this site. I will say I have enjoyed reading other posts.
This is where I am at with my marriage.
Married for 17 years with no major problems up to now. About 4 months ago I noticed my wife was pulling away from me physically. I would go to bed fairly early and she was staying up very late. This went on for 2 to 3 weeks and I assumed she was staying up late until I would fall to sleep. I would lay there and the mind would just run wild with emotions. I finally had enough one night and went downstairs to see what was going on. This did not go well as you can imagine. This was the start of my life being turned upside down. She confessed to me that she was trying to deal with her loss of emotions towards me. She said she felt empty, and that she had lost her identity. She felt trapped and struggled with being content with being married. She wanted to be independent and make her own decessions. This all came to me as a complete shock. I went into panic mode for weeks. Not sleeping, barely eating and when I did I felt sick. I broke everyone of the 180 rules. I smothered her to the point now she is thinking of moving out so she can be independant. We have 2 boys that are 12 and 11 and they will be crushed if she goes ahead with her plan. There is no physical contact at all and she will not even change her clothes in the same room if I am present. Today 4 months later I have been going to counseling for 4 weeks and she decided to go on her own this week. Which to me is a good sign or she is trying to validate her moving out decision. I have recently bought Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedy books and started reading Remedy last night. Any suggestions or advise would be greatly appreciated. The emotions and pain over these 4 months has been the worst thing that I have gone through. Up to this day she is still in the house but we are basically seperated but in the same house. She has been a stay at home wife since the boys were born. Which she has enjoyed I thought up until now. She is also looking for a job which may be the fresh air that she needs. My struggle is what about me and my needs as a husband. Do I just walk around on egg shells and wait for her to drop this moving out bomb?
