Sorry to find yourself here. But you've come to the right place to set your M back on rack.
So to answer your questions.
"Obviously I still need to let her do her thing, but I also need her to spend fun time with me if I ever expect her to want to re-commit."
No because she doesn't want to be around you right now.
"How should I proceed? Should I voice my concerns?"
No and no.
"I can see how doing so may cause her to feel controlled, but keeping it inside me doesn’t seem a very good long term strategy either."
Is this about her or you? She left you remember? So unfortunately for the time being it has to be about her needs and what she wants.
"For true passion to exist, both partners must feel comfortable enough to confide in each other."
To an extent. Confiding in one another is not the same as intimacy which is what drives passion. Intimacy is when both people trust enough to expose themselves physically/spiritually/emotionally to one another. With your W confiding in you (which you think) is like her talking to a girlfriend.
"I feel she is still confiding everything with me. I’m still her best friend."
There's a difference between a best friend and a lover. Right now she set up a clear boundary with you.
What have you done so far in terms of GAL? What were the main issues in the M? Be as detailed as possible. What were her gripes?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
