Divorced #3

[Mrs D]

So - this is what Ive been thinking this morning. Back when H and I met, he was still with a girl that was extremely crazy. Toxic is what we will call her. They had been dating maybe 3-6 months - not that long. I was bartending then, and he would come into the bar, have a couple beers, and talk about their problems. I listened. They eventually broke up because like I said - she was very toxic. I was out of a relationship myself - maybe three months - and we just sort of hooked up. Mind you, we had been friends many years prior to that, when I was married to my ex-ex husband. He told me he was always jealous he was married to me. When he found out that my ex-ex and I divorced, my H was in another relationship so obviously it didnt work out then.

I was trying to think of the person that I was then. I was independant. I was very confident. I was happy, bubbly, funny. I wasnt ever jealous. I was laid back. I fell in love with this man deeply and quickly.

I remember he wanted to ask me to marry him over Xmas. He called my Dad and asked him for my hand, and my Dad told him that he should wait because we'd only been dating alittle over 3 months. So he waited. Until after the New Year LOL. He and another friend decided that night we were going out for dinner, while he had his best friend set up 6 dozen roses around the Xmas tree. And a banner over the Xmas tree - Would you Marry me? He rushed into the house to put Kenny G on the stereo, but I had to use the restroom so bad that I ruined his surprise for me. But he still got down on his knee, and asked me to marry him. He was so so nervous. Of course I said yes, and I looked forward to the future of having him forever as my husband.

And now I dont. I still have the banner. I still have photos of all the rose bouquets around the tree. I still have the photos. I have all the memories. I still have the ring. But I dont have the one thing that made my life complete.

Yeah. Thats what I was thinking this morning.....