Not a very happy story, I'm afraid..

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OK.. Lots of catch up to do here. It's been a mixed few days. Baby steps forward, baby steps back.

Friday, W stayed out until 3:30 AM. No call, no text, no nothing. The bars around here close at 2. Needless to say, I got triggered very badly. I was wondering if she'd been in an accident, gotten a DUI, was at some dude's house.. Just really having a bad time of it. But she eventually came home and went straight to her room. I had the light out, pretended not to notice. I didn't say anything. But it ate me up inside.

Saturday, W had a friend and her 3 kids over to use the pool. She had sent me a text the day before asking if it was OK if she had her friend over to use the pool, and I said sure. I left before her friend got there, I think W was surprised. I went to pick up my bicycle at the shop and went for a bike ride. I went to a bike path in town I'd never been before.

When I got back, her friend was just leaving. She had 2 hours until she went to work. I sat outside near the pool while she was checking the chemicals. She eventually just said, "OK I'm going to get ready for work." I said, "You don't work for 2 hours?" To my surprise, she actually looked at the clock, figured out the time, and sat down for a few minutes. I was exhausted and happy from my ride, so I didn't say much. I did ask a R question.

I asked if she'd thought about how she was going to arrange her schedule so that we could keep to the terms of the separation agreement we'd worked out the week previous. One of the terms that was unresolved was that we were going to continue to go to counseling and the other was that we would try to date once a week. Both of these stipulations were not compatible with her current work and school schedule. Plus, the counselor has said more than once that W needs to make some time for us to be together and talk in order for things to get any better - something I wholeheartedly agreed with, but obviously put some uncomfortable pressure on W. I had wanted to talk about things after counseling Tuesday, but she said she wasn't ready, so I let it slide. On Wednesday, I initiated a short discussion on some finance stuff - basically gave her information so she could make a better decision on how many shifts she would actually need to work. She was in a hurry though, and basically took my information with an "OK I've gotta go study for school." Thursday was the big backslide that I've described previously.

Anyway, I just asked if she'd thought about things, and she said she hadn't had time to think about it. I smiled, let it go. I told her it didn't matter what she decided, I just wanted to know what the status was. We didn't need to go back to counseling if she was feeling it as pressure. We talked a little bit, I told her where I'd gone on my bike, she talked a little about work. Eventually I went inside to change and she went to get ready for work.

I jumped in the pool for a while. She was at work when I got out. I was so exhausted from my ride that I basically parked it on the couch for a few hours. I did manage to do some cleanup around the kitchen. Not much GAL activity, but I was happy with myself for getting the bike fixed and my ride.

She got home around 11, just as I was about to start a movie and go to bed. I asked if she wanted to join me, she agreed. While the movie was on, she got herself some food from the fridge and ate in front of the TV. We were on separate couches, btw. We both fell asleep about halfway through and woke up when the movie ended. We said goodnight and headed up to our separate bedrooms.

Sunday, I woke up earlier than her and I was about to make breakfast when I heard her getting up. I asked if she wanted me to make her something. She said no, she was runinng late for work. While she was out I did some practicing and then later on went to band practice.

I got home around 9:00, cleaned up and was in bed watching the other half of that movie when she came home around 10:45. She did not say hello, went straight to her room and shut the door. I saw a Facebook update that she had 127 pages to read for school by Tuesday.

So, sort of a "neutral" weekend. But then yesterday..